Mittal, Amit - Mail Forwards

The Man Rules

nospam@example.com (Amit Mittal) — Tue, 04 May 2010 07:37:52 +0530

At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down

Finally , the guys' side of the story.
( I must admit, it's pretty good.)
We always hear " the rules"
From the female side.

Now here are the rules from the male side.

These are our rules!
Please note.. these are all numbered "1 "
ON PURPOSE!

1. Men are NOT mind readers.

1. Sunday sports: It's like the full moon
or the changing of the tides.
Let it be.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want.
Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do.
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
In fact, all comments become Null and void after 7 Days.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.
Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

1. You can either ask us to do something
Or tell us how you want it done.
Not both.
If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials...

1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched.We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong.
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine... Really .

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball or golf.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!

1. Thank you for reading this.

Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;
But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.

Thank you my friend

nospam@example.com (Amit Mittal) — Wed, 23 Sep 2009 00:17:51 +0530

It’s another morning..
….. Again I have to go to office

Ohh, this is me… I shouted having a glance on my snap in today’s news paper.
But what the HELL it is doing in the death column??

Strange…

One sec... Let me think, last night when I was going to bed I had a severe pain in my chest, but I don’t remember anything after that, I think I had a sound sleep.

Its morning now, ohh….. It’s already 10:00 AM, where is my coffee?
I will be late for office and my boss will get a chance to irritate me.

Where is everyone…??? I screamed.

“I think there is a crowed outside my room, let me check.” I said to myself.

So many people….. Not all of them crying…
But why some of them crying…

WHAT IS THIS??? I m laying there on the floor…

“I AM HERE” … I shouted!!! No one listen.
“LOOK I AM NOT DEAD” … I screamed once again!!! No one is interested in me.
They all were looking me on the bed.

I went back to my bed room.

“Am I dead??” I asked myself.

Where is my wife, my children, my mom-DAD, my friends?

I found them in the next room, all of them were crying… still trying to console each other.

My wife was crying… she was really looking sad.
My little kid was not sure what happened, but he was crying just coz his mom was sad.

How can I go without saying my kid that I really love him, I really do care of him. ??
How can I go without saying my wife that she is really most beautiful and most caring wife in this world..??
How can I go without saying my parents that I m … just because of u ??
How can I go without telling my friends that without them perhaps I have done most of the wrong things in my life… thanks for being there always when I need them… and sorry for not being there when they really need me..

I can see a person standing in the corner and trying to hide his tears…
Ohh… he was once my best friend, but a small misunderstanding made us part, and we both have strong enough ego to keep us disconnect.

I went there.. And offered him my hand, “Dear friend… I just want to say sorry for everything, we r still best friend, please forgive me.”

No response from other side, what the hell?? He is still preserving his ego, I am saying sorry… even then!!!
I really don’t care for such people.

But one sec…. it seems he is not able to see me!!!! He did not see my extended hand.
My goodness… AM I REALLY DEAD???

I just sat down near ME; I was also feeling like crying…

“OHH ALMIGHTY!!!! PLEASE JUST GIVE ME FEW MORE DAYS…”
I just wasn’t to make my wife, my parents; my friends realize that how much I love them.

My wife entered in the room, she looks beautiful.
“YOU R BEAUTIFUL” I shouted.
She didn’t hear my words, in fact she never heard these words coz I never said this to her.

“GOD!!!!” I screamed… a little more time plzzzzzzzzzzzzzz..
I cried…

One more chance please… to hug my child, to make my mom smile just once, to feel my dad proud on me at least for a moment, to say sorry to my friends for everything I have not given to them, and thanks for still being in my life….

Then I looked up and cried!!!!

I shouted….

“GOD!!!! ONE MORE CHANCE PLEASE!!!!”

"You shouted in your sleep," said my wife as she gently woke me up. "Did you have a nightmare?"

I was sleeping….
Ohh that was just a dream….

My wife was there… she can hear me…
This is the happiest moment of my life…
I hugged her and whispered…. “U R THE MOST BEAUTIFUL AND CARING WIFE IN THIS UNIVERSE…. I REALLY LOVE U DEAR”

I can’t understand the reason of the smile on her face with some tears in her eyes, still I m happy….

“THANK YOU GOD FOR THIS SECOND? CHANCE.”

So, Now it’s not late.. Forget your egos, past……….., and express your love to others………. Be friendly…………… keep smiling and be happy for ever…

_______________________

There is just one thing I want to tell u after reading this……

Thank You……. For whatever uv done for me…. For being thr for me…..

BE HAPPY ALWAYS … RELAIZE THIS MOMENT AND ENJOY. THIS MINT. WON’T COME AGAIN… SO PLS HAPPY . ………………………………………………………………………………

A Wedding Passbook

nospam@example.com (Amit Mittal) — Mon, 31 Aug 2009 22:18:11 +0530

Dimple married Manjeet this day. At the end of the wedding party, Dimple's mother gave her a newly opened bank saving passbook with Rs. 1000 deposit amount.

Mother: 'Dimple, take this passbook. Keep it as a record of your marriage life. When there's something happy and memorable happened in your new life, put some money in. Write down what it's about next to the line. The more memorable the event is, the more money you can put in. I've done the first one for you today. Do the others with Manjeet.

When you look back after years, you can know how much happiness you've had.'

Dimple shared this with Manjeet when getting home. They both thought it was a great idea and were anxious to know when the second deposit can be made. This was what they did after certain time:

7 Feb: Rs. 100, first birthday celebration for Manjeet after marriage

1 Mar: Rs. 300, salary raise for Dimple

20 Mar: Rs. 200, vacation trip to Bali

15 Apr: Rs. 2000, Dimple got pregnant

1 Jun: Rs. 1000, Manjeet got promoted

..... And so on...

However, after years, they started fighting and arguing for trivial things. They didn't talk much. They regretted that they had married the nastiest people in the world.... No more love...Kind of typical nowadays, huh?

One day Dimple talked to her Mother: 'Mom, we can't stand it anymore. We agree to divorce. I can't imagine how I decided to marry this guy!!!"

Mother: 'Sure, girl, that's no big deal. Just do whatever you want if you really can't stand it. But before that, do one thing first.

Remember the saving passbook I gave you on your wedding day? Take out all money and spend it first. You shouldn't keep any record of such a poor marriage.'

Dimple thought it was true. So she went to the bank, waiting at the queue and planning to cancel the account. While she was waiting, she took a look at the passbook record. She looked, and looked, and looked. Then the memory of all the previous joy and happiness just came up her mind. Her eyes were then filled with tears. She left and went home.

When she was home, she handed the passbook to Manjeet, asked him to spend the money before getting divorce.

The next day, Manjeet gave the passbook back to Dimple. She found a new deposit of Rs. 5000. And a line next to the record: 'this is the day I notice how much I've loved you thru out all these years. How much happiness you've brought me.'

They hugged and cried, putting the passbook back to the safe. Do you know how much money they had saved when they retired? I did not ask. I believe the money did not matter anymore after they had gone thru all the good years in their life.

"When you fall in any way, don't see the place where you fell instead see the place from where you slipped. Life is about correcting mistakes."